I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!

Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.