A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

I just love New York. New York has energy, it has culture, New York is very diverse. There's not a better place in the world.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who might make an album then take three or four years off to recharge their batteries. Comedians tend to work straight through and they get stale because of that. Even when I didn't have a lot of money I never ever did it unless I had something new to say.

When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.

America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.