A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.

I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.

It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock.

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV.

You got a gun, you don't have to work out.