I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.

Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

I had always been - everybody kind of likes comedy. I was very interested in comedy, beyond just liking it. I had friends that took apart radios; I wanted to take apart jokes.

Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"