For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.