I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.

I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.