If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation. No, no, no. UPS is hard work. I’ve done some animation and here's how easy it is. The easiest job in the world. I go in a booth and I go, what’s the line? And the guy goes, it’s time to go to the store. And then I go, it’s time to go to the store. And then they gave me $1 million.

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched.