I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

I think it's better to have ideas.

You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think?

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.