I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.
Chris RockYou donโt need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, thatโs right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollarsโฆ five thousand dollars per bulletโฆ You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
Chris RockI am just here to support the President of the United States. President of the United States is our boss, but he is also... you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen, and when you don't it will usually bite you on the ass later on. So, I'm here to support the President.
Chris RockI just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
Chris RockThe thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.
Chris RockThat's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got asthma." "Robitussin." "I got cancer." "Robitussin." "I broke my leg." Daddy poured Robitussin on it. "Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get on down to the bone. The 'tussin ought to straighten out the bone."
Chris Rock