Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense

I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!