Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful.

I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.

I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.

Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.