I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. "The Jeffersons" (1975) was a lot better. "Good Times" (1974) was way funnier. "Sanford and Son" (1972). Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same shit that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good.

The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.

You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.

Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones.