I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
Chris RockI'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
Chris RockCharlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
Chris RockAre they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because thereโs an alarm going doesnโt mean itโs a fire. And I think that people are confusing the two. Itโs only a fire when it offends the fans, and the fans turn on you. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. If youโve watched enough Tracy Morgan, you let the worst thing go by. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. You canโt break up with me if we donโt date.
Chris Rock