I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

Why are there so many trees in the jungle?

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me