I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.