I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.