I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Hi, well soon return you to the dyslexic production of Bitty Bitty Chang Chang.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.