I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.

You know, if I don't make it when I go out there in that weather balloon into that thunder storm. I want, you to take your ear and give it to my wife.

The comedy community is fairly supportive of human beings in general. There are some things you can teach with comedy that people can't learn by being hit over the head with facts. I think, as comedians, we're trying to change the world. It's slow, but sure.

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.