We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

The Hills are alive with the sound of CRAP!

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.