We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.