Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?

What kind of FBI agent are you?

I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.