Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names... You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the colour's all wrong... I mean, who shot the drapes?

Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling 'em up in a carpet and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead!