Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favorites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.

If Sting retires, would he have to change his name to Stung?

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine.