I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage.

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.