I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.

And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap.