It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.

Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.