The average permanent lasts about four months.

One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.

Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.

I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.