Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

Can you have a seance to summon the ghost of a dead zombie?

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

The average permanent lasts about four months.

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.