If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.

I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.