Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

If I'm alone in the car and I fart, I still laugh at it. It's the little things that keep us civilised.

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?