Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.

My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.

We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right