Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

Whoever coined the phrase, killing two birds with one stone, not only hated birds but also thought we needed to conserve stones.

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.