I would think, if you were horny enough, there'd come a time when it was hos before bros.

I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.

Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.

Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.