Can you have a seance to summon the ghost of a dead zombie?

My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.

My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.

Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.