Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.

My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.

Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.

One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.