Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.

Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.

I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.

I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!