Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.

Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.