If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Usually the people that peak in high school are tragic, tragic adults. Most of them end up working for the water department in their hometown and driving around said high school as the decades slip past.

Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.

Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?