If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

When you're 17 years old, you have no idea who you are as a person, so there's no way you can be a good performer. You can't be a good comedian, because you don't know who you are, you don't know what you're saying. Stand-up is nothing but an expression of self-awareness. It wasn't until I was 23, 24 that I got to have a handle on a perspective on life, where I became decent. And I was just a terribly socially awkward younger person.

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

The circus goes from town to town, so why run away to join it? It should be, I've decided to wait for the circus to come.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.