If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!

I've never slept with a virgin, but I love breaking the seal on a new peanut butter.

I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.