I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.

Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.

The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.