I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.