I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.

Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.