When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.
Dana GouldIt's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
Dana GouldWhoever coined the phrase, killing two birds with one stone, not only hated birds but also thought we needed to conserve stones.
Dana GouldIf anything, I believe that when I die, I will have to stand in front of all the children who went to bed hungry while I was on earth and read aloud a list of my eBay purchases. I shudder to think of it. Explaining to a poor child with a swollen belly why I didn't give his village fifty cents a week but spent twenty-seven dollars in a bidding war for a Mars Attacks coffee cup.
Dana Gould