The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

When I found out that coffins are padded, I stopped fearing death.

The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.