I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.

If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

Can you have a seance to summon the ghost of a dead zombie?

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.