I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.

You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.

I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.

I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.