One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.
Corn is the only food you hold like corn.
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying to hand him an abortion.
Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.