When you're 17 years old, you have no idea who you are as a person, so there's no way you can be a good performer. You can't be a good comedian, because you don't know who you are, you don't know what you're saying. Stand-up is nothing but an expression of self-awareness. It wasn't until I was 23, 24 that I got to have a handle on a perspective on life, where I became decent. And I was just a terribly socially awkward younger person.
Dana GouldI was an altar boy in the Roman Catholic Church and no priest ever laid a hand on me. That's me, always the bridesmaid.
Dana GouldJust saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
Dana GouldI used to pessimistically think I was going to die alone, but now I optimistically know I'm going to die hoping to meet someone.
Dana GouldToday I saw a guy who looked like me in a funhouse mirror. He looked at me like, Hey, that's how I look reflected in the pond!
Dana Gould