I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.

I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.

Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.