If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
Dana GouldWhen I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
Dana GouldIf anything, I believe that when I die, I will have to stand in front of all the children who went to bed hungry while I was on earth and read aloud a list of my eBay purchases. I shudder to think of it. Explaining to a poor child with a swollen belly why I didn't give his village fifty cents a week but spent twenty-seven dollars in a bidding war for a Mars Attacks coffee cup.
Dana GouldThey say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.
Dana Gould