Being funny is not the same as being happy.
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
When I was in high school, girls made fun of me for liking vampire movies. Now, I'd be their king. Time machine, where are you?