Death's vigilance is eternal, so shall mine be.
The average permanent lasts about four months.
If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?
Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.
Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?