Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.