Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.

That which does not kill you usually circles around and tries again.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.

As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.