Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.

Love is like pancreatitis; it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.

The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Please don't let all the freak storms and climate change lead you to believe in freak storms and climate change.