Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.
I once felt bad because I had no shoes, and then I met a man who had no feet. He was wearing an ankle bracelet that kept falling off.
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.
There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.
I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.
A lot of people have a particular song that, no matter their mood, turns them on. With me, it's Eleanor Rigby.