If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.