If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.

Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!

If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!

How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?