I'll never be alone, because I'll always have My Problems with me!
Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.
Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.