There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.

Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.

In a world of war, pain and suffering, all I want for Christmas is an underwater watch and a silver clutch rod for my dirt bike.

Why do old people drive with their mouths open?

I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.