There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.

Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.

I can't wait for the day I learn to live in the now!

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.