I can't wait for the day I learn to live in the now!

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?

Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.