Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.

Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

Whoever coined the phrase, killing two birds with one stone, not only hated birds but also thought we needed to conserve stones.

How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?

Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.