Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

Why do old people drive with their mouths open?

Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.

The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.