Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.

I grew up in a town called Hopedale, Massachusetts. I was born there in 1964, and the only thing I hate outside of myself is everything else.

I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?

I used to pessimistically think I was going to die alone, but now I optimistically know I'm going to die hoping to meet someone.