Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

My first open mic was fantastic. I crushed. And my second mic was as bad as my first one was good.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.