I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
Whoever coined the phrase, killing two birds with one stone, not only hated birds but also thought we needed to conserve stones.
Chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels... Chocolate. So afraid to be alone.