The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.