I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

We all enter this world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.

The average permanent lasts about four months.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.