Usually the people that peak in high school are tragic, tragic adults. Most of them end up working for the water department in their hometown and driving around said high school as the decades slip past.

I'll never be alone, because I'll always have My Problems with me!

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.